You can’t imagine it, the singer states. At that moment readying for her comeback record in eight years, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and finally the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for a decade, riding high. Then in spring she was told she had breast cancer.
The musician, birth name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The record, her latest release, was supposed to be an candid account, tackling every ounce of devastation she’d endured since she last made an album (endometriosis, miscarriage, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, mental health struggles) with her usual frankness. The initial release, the song No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Later second single, her song Living My Best Life, debuted in late spring and the artist was giving interviews about how she was living her best life, while all the while coping with the disease. Subsequently she disclosed her condition, and in early July she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “Seriously?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every media appearance, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I’m, like, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s yet to undergo follow-up surgery.
We’re at a photography studio in London. She is wearing a light brown synthetic jacket, blue jeans with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and oversized specs. Think rocker vibe meets 70s singer aesthetic. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” Easy Rider, I say, recalling the movie. “That’s what people called me at school!” She grins. She is fast-thinking, bold and filter-free. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut in the coming year. “I like entertaining. When performing I often tease the audience.”
Personal Battles and News
Cornish was getting ready for an performance at the ceremony when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it looked at, had an scan, and they were, like, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. I’ve got an achy arm and tingling in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the Monday. By then she had convinced herself it was okay. The way she explains it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had many commitments.
“We’re two weeks away from debuting the project after a long hiatus and no new music. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I assumed, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I log in expecting it’s all going to be positive, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she says, ‘Unfortunately but your reports have come back as malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. The timing is terrible.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She found the surgery scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. You’re escorted. You know when you have emergency surgery you roll down in a bed, but then I just marched with a medical attire and my rear exposed. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she notes, she’s been fortunate. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my affected breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “The nipple was preserved.”
The subsequent surgery is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she remarks, are now “different sizes. The implant is larger than before. How rude! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She thinks her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s familiar with medical emergencies. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, acting as a reminder, or blow, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘Things going well? Sit down.’ Since childhood, it has often paired with moments of success for me; a serious or unusual issue has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career performing in the London theater in a musical (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as vertigo and irregular beats. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She fast-forwards several years, and young Jessica has joined the female band Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a year.”
Oi, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
